Saturday, May 9, 2009


I've decided I need a soundtrack.

A score to reflect my life to build like storm clouds overhead when I am angry or turbulent, or lilt on melodic fainting couches when I am feeling romantic or blossomy or certain.

I need notes to follow me around to flood the streets to pill on my sweaters to melt on my tongue to declare my intentions or disguise my uncertainty.

Of all the things I've known in my life, this is the one thing I am most certain about. At the end of one's days, there should be music. And there should be notes that pull one out of bed in the morning and then whisper you to sleep in the evening or declare the moon's appearance.

Wouldn't it be nice if love and light were escorted by flocks of Clarinets and Flutes? And oh, to hear the shadowy things approach with their heavy footfalls on the bass line. I wonder if we would make fewer bad choices. Would we recognize love when it walked in? Would we change direction when things so obviously began to turn and darken? Or maybe we would learn to ignore our soundtrack and do whatever the hell we wanted to, Timpani Drums be damned. I like to think I would take my cue and exit rather than hang out and wait to find out how low those foreboding notes could go.

I would like to see things lined up and falling in and moving their way through an Opus that feels the way I am feeling, that tells my story and embellishes it with a flourish of strings.

Maybe I'm losing it or dreaming or breathing in too many anti-bacterial gel fumes. Maybe I've already learned to ignore the soundtrack playing.

Maybe it's time for me to learn to read music.

Tonight, it's the rain on the windows bringing the day to a close. Whispered percussion.

Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.
-Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

Happy Mother's Day, if not to you then to your mother. May the morning be heralded with well intentioned children and the clinking of pans and pillows over your head as you try to stay asleep and wait for breakfast in bed. I'm pretty certain that will be my morning soundtrack.